Wednesday, July 04, 2007

New Discovery at the Department of Humour Resources

I got this great email from New Zealand's The Joyologist Pat Armitstead about a new discovery in the HR department. Here is the article:

Investigators at a major research institution have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad). This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 articles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay but, instead, undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time since, with each reorganization, some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass". You will know it when you see it.

Pat write: Ok..confession time…it’s not mine ….but I did think it very clever !

Find the study at

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12:43 pm

    Hi Wayne

    Just came across this administratum thing on your blog ....hilarious you doin' ...hope all is OK and you are travelling well

    Feel free to drop me a line