Friday, May 11, 2007

Mothers... don't you just love'm!

As I go about my business, there is often this booming voice going off in my head... "Now Wayne... you'll thank me for this when you grow up!"

And as I continue my journey in life, with my dear sweet mum long since past - nearly 25 years ago now, I still take heed of her advice. Funny, I can't really recall any profound stuff my Dad told me, but mum's advice hangs heavy in my everyday experiences.

What got me thinking about this? Well, an amazingly prophetic list called "My mother taught me!" crossed my desk ( actually my computer screen ) and I was taken back to the days I was still wearing short pants and getting around bare foot. Here is that list - hope it brings back some fond memories for you too!

My mother taught me!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning in here."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't stop doing that, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shop with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a cyclone went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you keep watching the TV, you'll get square eye s."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your jumper on, don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my HERITAGE. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: - My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you ."

1 comment:

  1. To which I can only reply: a day without a belly laugh is a day wasted!