It sounds to me like you have had some problems. Remember that when emotion is high intelligence is low. At the moment you sound very emotional. That great song "From a Distance" perhaps should be remembered.
Maybe, just maybe you need some advice from a distance from someone who isn't emotionally involved. The great words in the bible (and I'm not a religious nutter) are ask and you shall receive. Wayne I reckon most of your readers love what you do. They believe in you.
Perhaps if you laid out the facts. Ask your readers for their opinion you may be surprised by what comes your way. Of course I offer to help but I'm not sure I'm the man for the job.
I personally think you are a man of integrity. A great bloke.